The Effects of Alchohol
by Western Dragon
Summary: Part 3 - Insanity Chronicles *WARNING* *WARNING* This is a WWLS (written while lacking sleep) fic and thus contains large overdoses of stupidity and the use of the 'F' word. Enter with caution.


The Effects of Alchohol  
By: Paladin  
  
"!!!" Crono was shocked as he began to spin around and around in a void that looked very much like a backdrop from the 70's.  
"Woa, man! We're trippin'!!" Marle shrieked as she began to get sick from the bright colors and the spinning, "This is all your fault, Crono!!!"  
"!!!" Crono growled as he glared back at her.  
"Don't take that tone with me!! If you had known which pod was the left one we wouldn't be in this mess!!!" She shouted in rage at the top of her lungs.  
"..." Crono said in his defense.  
"What do you mean I shouldn't have followed you?! You made us tie a rope around our waists so we wouldn't get lost!!" Marle was beginning to fume.  
Crono however didn't care anymore as he began to hallucinate, ".!?@#$%"  
"Hi, Crono! Won'tchoo come join ouw lil pahty?" Ozzie Osbourne said to Crono as he took his hand and began to fly over a field of daisies, "Ozzy? No, man! I'm the fucking prince of darkness!!"  
"!!!" Crono glared at Ozzie one, two, and three as his vision began to blur.  
"What's this now? You hate my show?! Well fine then! go shove a tube up ya' ass, you lil pissa'!!" Ozzie one, two, and three said as they dropped Crono to his inevitable doom.  
Just then one of those little bitches from N*Sync caught him, "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"It's alright, Crono! I'm just so fucking rich I bought a space shuttle, a trip to your hallucination, and a Pizza Hut!! Girl!!!" The crazy airhead sang in a girly tone.  
"???" Crono questioned the nutcase.  
"Why did I just sing "GIRL!!!"? It's just what I do, baby! Girl!!!" The weirdo said as he dropped Crono and went to sniff crack, eat pizza, and bang Britney.  
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Crono began to fall to his death but then landed in a pile of plastic balls. When he looked around he realized that he wasn't in hell but somewhere much worse.  
"Hey, kid! I'm Ronald! Buy my unhealthy, undercooked food and I'll give you a cheap-ass, plastic toy!!" A fat clown with red hair shrieked.  
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Crono flew in to the air as a green dome surrounded the clown.  
Unfortunately, the clown dodged the attack with his evil, matrix-like clown agility, "Eat my food! Eat my food!! Eat my food!!!"  
"!*(&#(*)&$)(*#)(*#)(*#)(*@)(&*($&(*&@(*&@" In pure rage and blood lust, Crono began to hack off the clown's arms, legs, and head but they horrifically regrew.  
"Smile! Smile!! Smile!!!" The clown shouted with idiotic glee as it began to hug poor Crono.  
Fortunately there was a smelly, undercooked, fly infested hamburger just in reach of Crono and so he jammed it down the clown's throat, "NO!!!!!! NOT MY OWN, CRAPPY-ASS FOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
The clown exploded in to tiny clown chunks as blood spewed everywhere but Crono was happy to be rid of the evil thing. Crono then began to fall again as he landed in front of a blue-haired freak wearing shorts and a gay, purple, pirate bandana.  
"Crono... I... am your gay ass duplicate!" The blue-haired freak said as he held a double-bladed sword thingy.  
"!!!" Crono gasped in shock.  
"Yes. It is shocking and yes. I am a Darth Sith fan!" The freak announced as he charged at Crono with his MasteratbeinggayMune swallow, sword thingy.  
Their blades clinked as they engaged in heated combat but then Crono found the idiot's weakness, "!!"  
With a slash, the Rainbow Sword cut through the MasteratbeinggayMune's wooden handle, breaking it in to two parts, "Damn you! I won't be beaten by the guy I stole credit from!!"  
The blue-haired freak tried to hold his weird knife thingy but ended up cutting himself, "..."  
"Don't laugh at me!" The boy began to cry.  
"!!!" Crono began to bust out laughing.  
"I... These pink socks are my mothers!! I had to wear them 'cause mine got wet!!!" Crono just continued to laugh so the boy ran away crying.  
"Crono..." A voice called to him as he began to fall in to the hippy void again, "Crono!"  
"CRONO!!" Lucca shouted in Crono's ear, making his ears ring as he bolted up off the ground.  
"???" Crono questioned his friend.  
"What happened last night? Well, besides you impregnating Marle, drinking all the beer, and killing a few villagers... Nothing much, really." Lucca sighed at the thought of his previous antics, "At least you won the Dreamstone, although we don't really need it since we mysteriously have all of our best equipment."  
"???" Crono asked with curiosity.  
"Yes. I do sense Deja Vu..." Lucca answered as a puzzled look appeared on her face.  
"My tummy feels funny..." Marle said to herself as she woke up.  
"Uh... You'll find out why in about nine months..." Lucca explained in an unsure tone.  
"!!!" Crono shouted as he began to look around for the Gate Key to no avail.  
"Don't worry about it... We have a time car!" Lucca cheered.  
"Don't ever turn that brain of yours off, Lucca!" Marle giggled as she began to race towards the car.  
"Wha?" Lucca wondered wether to be offended by that comment or what have you.  
"Seriously though... I turned mine off ages ago." Marle smiled as she continued towards the car.  
"Whatever you say............." Lucca shrugged as she began to persue her.  
"..." Crono looked down at a whiskey bottle in his hand and then threw it in a nearby, conveniantly placed trash can and followed them.  
  
The End? o.O 


End file.
